Changing Courses: Transition from a working professional to a home maker...........

A new city, a new life and a new me. We have moved to another city leaving the maddening rush and life of the great city Mumbai. This city never sleeps, the clock is always ticking and people are always running. The people here always seem to be worried, their day begins with worrying whether the maids will come on time, whether they will get late to work, whether the boss will be in a good mood, whether there will be any mess ups at work and so on. Its just like a constant noise in your ears and head of getting things done. Everyday felt like a challenge, getting the regular chores done at home and at work. But with all that misery, you thankfully have the saving grace of your friends/family that help you survive one more day in this city. You might not have time to talk or meet friends but you know the are just a phone call away. Its just so comforting to keep your daily worries aside for a while and just have a cup of coffee with them. Remembering those crazy days, whether its shopping, eating, drinking or just gossiping in the middle of the night as if the world is going to end, it really has therapeutic benefits.

It is just natural to want to take a break and sit at home and do nothing when you are working, even one day off would make you feel rejuvenated. I never thought having two maids in Mumbai made my life easy, it was always a challenge to get things done (or as most of my friends would say “getting things done my way”). For some reason maids have the poorest of memory when it comes to their job and at the same time a memory of an elephant when it comes to getting paid on time. I wished I could do all these things myself, without getting my BP high, mood sour and a sulky day with all the mess my maid would do or not do. I would be amazed to see how conveniently she would do one part of her job and cleverly leave the next part to be done later (obviously by me). For example, cook lunch and leave the packing to me, obviously I am the 'woman of the house'.

Working had its merits and demerits. Sometimes fun with colleagues that became friends for life, sometimes exhausting with work and discussions, and sometimes crazy managing people/boss. Working late sometimes felt so foolish to me specially when you see your work finding its place in the dustbin because the project got over. But it was still good to go to work, stumble upon something new and interesting., those unending discussions and long meetings when you would like to just walk out. Bonding with colleagues over common interests whether it was geek-y or freaky, I loved it all. That feeling when you pay-check comes at the end of the month and you start planning where to party next, made it so worth all the 'love-hate' salary-increment discussions.

But we both were just working and complaining everyday, what if this and what if that? We had our pro-con list, but we both agreed “if we don't take a risk now, we might never take a risk”. So one fine day, we decided to quit our jobs and leave the city of dreams to a new place with a new opportunity. I have never been without a job for a long time and the idea to sit and breathe for a while to ponder over what next looked very interesting. Leaving the city of dreams wasn't that difficult for me as it was leaving Pune. Mumbai is fun in its own way, we would surely miss the wonderful days with friends, plays in NCPA and those long rides with the fear of a “mama (traffic police)” catching us for something or the other. Mumbai, definitely felt like our home, except the weather I had no complains. But moving to a new city brings in its own challenges, and makes you wonder was it really necessary???

Life has surely come to a stand still. This life surely feels good for a while...... I can't believe it's been just a couple months and I have already crossed a couple of things off my bucket-list. I am singing in the shower again, can't believe I don have to take quick 5 minute showers anymore. I can go on as long as I want. Finally, I am getting time to do things I always wanted but couldn't do as there was never time. I am back to my fitness regime with a twist. I started with learning Ancient Chinese martial arts known as Tai-chi, along with other common forms of body combat and yoga. These days I spend 2-3 hours everyday at the fitness centre and my mind feels agile to do something new,other than just staring at the computer screen and wondering if the boss is in a good mood today.

Setting up the home is definitely not my favourite activity, but this is my third in the last 3 years of marriage. And believe me I'm tired, tired of leaving good memories behind, leaving/giving away things to people that you have carefully bought and has a sweet story from where we got it. But my dear Vivek says a good memory lives with you forever in your mind and thankfully does not take much space in your closet. Obviously we agree to disagree sometimes, I really feel bad of giving away things and then buying the same stuff again and again, it is tiring physically, mentally and emotionally.

I have more time to talk to my family and friends and not have those 2 minute calls with them saying I will call back and will definitely get caught in a meeting or something and forget eventually. I have started to learn something about my Kashmiri roots . To begin with I have started understanding about Kashmir Shaivism and revisiting the vast literature and knowledge bank by the holy saints of Kashmir like Lal Ded. Thanks to Dad, I can get my doubts cleared right away. It's wonderful how much there is to learn in the world, but we are forced to just follow the crowd. Such a pity........

Another aspect that I love these days is cooking maid free. I am surely cooking my heart out, trying at least 2 new dishes every week. Our favourite being Thai soups/curries, salmon and various chicken varieties. And salads is Vivek's forte. It fun to cook a new dish, out-doing yourself and improving with every new dish.

Its a new transition but feel good for a while, then the feeling of being “no-one” sinks in. As being a home maker is no designation that you are familiar with. I mean no offence to all the home makers, but It does not look interesting on a business card that once said “Senior Research Scientist”. I'm standing on the crossroads of my life and sometimes I wonder, what is it that I should do next. It surely is very tough when you stay at home after being a part of the rat race for so long. There are times when I feel lost, direction-less and nothing less than a furniture in the house. May be because sometimes the job of being at home gets tough, and doing so many thankless jobs at home does not help this feeling. Those degrees you have from reputed institutes seem to mock you and you find no solace. This transition is not easy but it needs to be dealt with love, care and support from your spouse and family.

If any of you/your friends are planning to take a break please enjoy your time. Do things you always wanted, challenge yourself to do new things, be a better person, smile more and my personal favorite “love and pamper yourself” (because you are awesome). Nothing makes your family happy than to see you smiling....No matter how crazy the work schedule was or how insensitive people you worked with were, I still miss working. Those long unending discussions in the meeting rooms, last minute presentations, lunch gossips, tea/coffee breaks, discussions in the ladies restroom, and so many fun things you do as a team. The way it would challenge me to do something new, opportunity to meet people from different backgrounds and those lovely cultural discussions. Its so rightly said, everything comes at a price good or bad is your take. Even if I have always hated the politics, gossips, and negative people at work, but I also loved many other things that I have learned dealing with people at work.

If you stay at home or are in a transition period, don't just become a cooking and cleaning lady. Be someone whom you are proud of. Life is too short to have regrets, you might look like an idiot in the beginning but who cares. Take a painting class, do some yoga, join a dance class make new friends and may be go out on a date with yourself. Sometimes it's fun to sit in a cafe sipping your coffee and just observe people. My only take from my transition is love whatever you do because grass is always greener on the other side. So worry less and enjoy this life and live with people who matter......

Exploring Andaman and Nicobar Islands!!! Part 2

Andaman is the land of golden beaches. The soft golden sand slipping beneath your feet, bright blue sky over your head and that soothing clear blue water makes you feel as if there is no other splendid sight than this. All you would want to do is just keep staring as the waves come and go. You could clearly see the seafloor as the water is so clear.

Ready for our next adventure to Havelock Islands, we took Makruzz boat from Port Blair. A word of caution for fellow travelers would be to get your tickets (to and fro) done well in advance else you will have a tough time in getting them.  With deep blue waters all over, we loved the ride to Havelock. They played an interesting documentary about the history of Andaman. There is no end to the sea, it seems calm and at peace with itself but the nature is so unpredictable, you never know when a tsunami would strike and destroy everything. It kind of reminds me the uncertainties in life. We never know what's coming for us. What once seems peaceful could be disastrous in a moment. 

As soon as we reached Havelock, we rushed to the Dive India office as we had booked scuba diving with them. We got there and I being a non-swimmer wasn't too sure but the main guy Syed assured me that I would love it. He told us about the basic signs, what to do, how to go about, and his punch line was "don't panic and keep breathing". I was excited and scared at the same time. Thankfully, some guys who had just come back from their scuba and both being non-swimmers gave me some courage and said you should definitely do it as it is worth it. We changed into wet suits and got ready for scuba. We had our training first in shallow water with 2 trainers. They helped us put on the scuba gear and equipment and we started the training. I was comfortable and for some reason the vastness of the sea around me didn't scare me, may be because I had surrendered myself to it. The color of water was aqua blue and you could clearly see the sea floor. The sea floor felt just like a wet dessert with small sand dunes all over. Havelock has like the most wonderful white sand beach I have ever seen. Those wonderful corals and colorful fishes all around us. And I also saw "Nemo" just playing around its home. A sight beautiful enough for you to feel like a kid again wondering how little we know of God's mighty creation and we are just like a little fish on the land, unaware of the secrets of the sea.

The highlight of our scuba was spotting Andaman's black-white water snake that was almost coming towards Vivek and the trainer moved the water to guide the snake away. And then the snake went between the legs of another fellow scuba enthusiast. I am sure he didn't know but this sight was splendid and scary at the same time. For that moment, my heart almost skipped a beat. Snakes I feel are the most beautiful things on earth. Their beautiful yet complex patterns, the elegance with which they move has always fascinated me. Another highlight of the scuba was me getting stung by a jellyfish. Yeah I know, “it hurts badly”. It burns and the salt water just makes it worse. Thanks to our wonderful trainer who helped me with some vinegar and I could feel the burning sensation to hold on for a while. But it troubled me for at least for the next two days. But believe me, I would still do scuba again.

The experience of scuba was awesome and I feel everyone should do it at least once in your life, especially if you are a non-swimmer. It is so much fun to let go of yourself and explore the secrets of the sea. It makes you believe in things, that there is more to life than just going to work and coming back. Once our scuba got over, I so wanted to spend a little more time. What fun! I was smiling all the way back to the Dive India office. These guys are really the best ones.

Next on our list was to go to our homestay “Barefoot”, as we reached we were literally starving. So we decided to eat first, the restaurant ambience was just phenomenal. Bamboo and timber used all over the place, just the look of it made us comfortable. We finally had some good food in Andaman. Lemon chicken with steamed rice and sautéed fish with tomato sauce and black olives for lunch and a chocolate salami for dessert which was just yummy. After this delightful lunch we decided to relax and take a nap before going to the beach and we went to our tent-cottage. It was a wonderful concept done well, beautiful with all the amenities, wonderfully designed so that you can enjoy a tent experience but at the same time it was safe from insects and any other spices that could harm you as we are in the Andamans.

One of the best beaches in A&N is the beach no.7 popularly known as Radhanagar beach. A beautiful white sand beach with a splendid view of the never ending sea. Wonderful blue sea in front of you, lush green tall trees behind you,  white sand beneath your feet and blue skies over your head..... What else could you ask for? It was definitely a priceless moment to be in such a wonderful place to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We spend almost the whole afternoon and evening at the beach, followed by a wonderful dinner at the Barefoot restraurant. What a wonderful day for our perfect day! We decided to go by the beach at night to witness it in the soft moonlight. We spoke to the manager and he suggested that we go with one of his guys for safety. As soon as we got there, what we saw was contrary to what we were expecting. The whole sight was scary with the magnanimous sea in front of you and lots of trees behind you. You feel so insignificant that everything around you feels wild and the whole sight scares you. And as we stood there in the moonlight, I was wondering how things can be beautiful and scary at the same time. It was an experience worth the effort. We could hardly stay there for some minutes and we decided to go back to our cozy tent.

After a good night sleep in our wonderful cottage, we decided to catch the sunrise early morning. So we were back to the beach and the view was splendid just so fresh and ready to begin a new day. There is something about the sound of the waves coming and crashing, it has special power that soothes and calms your nerves down.

We packed our bags and left for Port Blair. It was a fun ride as we were taking a govt. ferry because Makruzz was full. As soon as we got to Port Blair we rented a bike and had a simple lunch at "Icy Spicy". Two important things about A&N is that people here are simple, polite, helpful, and can speak very good Hindi. They will ask you how the food is, if you are happy with it. And if you want to change it, they are happy to do so.

Next on our agenda was going to Mount Harriet on our rented bike. Believe me that long bike ride was splendid, just reminded me of those good old college days. No matter which mode of transport you use, I personally feel bike still seems to be the best one. We went all the way to Chatum jetty where there is a vehicle ferry that takes you to the other side and you can take your bike. We got down from the ferry and continued to go up Mount Harriet. It was a king drive up the hill but it was awesome thanks to wonderful roads in A&N. With no one around, lush green surroundings and company of some unseen beautiful birds made the bike ride splendid.

Once we got to the Mount Harriet you could see the whole A&N from up there. The landscape which you generally see at the back side of a 20 Rs.(INR) note is the same scenery over there. Colorful benches with picturesque surroundings, you just want to sit and chat. There is an interesting spot once you get to the top of Mount Harriet and that is almost an hour’s trek on the nature’s trail to “Kalapather”. Since by the time we got to Mount Harriet it was almost sunset so we were sure about the trail. But we both gathered courage and started the trail. After going on for like less than a kilometre, the visibility started getting poor and the whole trail was just surrounded by tall trees. It got a bit scary and we were not even carrying flash lights so we decided it might be a wise decision to go back.

Back to our homestay, we crashed and finally realized our wonderful journey is over. Looking forward to many more yet to come…….