A
new city, a new life and a new me. We have moved to another city
leaving the maddening rush and life of the great city Mumbai. This
city never sleeps, the clock is always ticking and people are always
running. The people here always seem to be worried, their day begins
with worrying whether the maids will come on time, whether they will
get late to work, whether the boss will be in a good mood, whether
there will be any mess ups at work and so on. Its just like a
constant noise in your ears and head of getting things done. Everyday
felt like a challenge, getting the regular chores done at home and at
work. But with all that misery, you thankfully have the saving grace
of your friends/family that help you survive one more day in this
city. You might not have time to talk or meet friends but you know
the are just a phone call away. Its just so comforting to keep your
daily worries aside for a while and just have a cup of coffee with
them. Remembering those crazy days, whether its shopping, eating,
drinking or just gossiping in the middle of the night as if the world
is going to end, it really has therapeutic benefits.
It
is just natural to want to take a break and sit at home and do
nothing when you are working, even one day off would make you feel
rejuvenated. I never thought having two maids in Mumbai made my life
easy, it was always a challenge to get things done (or as most of my
friends would say “getting things done my way”). For some reason
maids have the poorest of memory when it comes to their job and at
the same time a memory of an elephant when it comes to getting paid
on time. I wished I could do all these things myself, without getting
my BP high, mood sour and a sulky day with all the mess my maid would
do or not do. I would be amazed to see how conveniently she would do
one part of her job and cleverly leave the next part to be done later
(obviously by me). For example, cook lunch and leave the packing to
me, obviously I am the 'woman of the house'.
Working
had its merits and demerits. Sometimes fun with colleagues that
became friends for life, sometimes exhausting with work and
discussions, and sometimes crazy managing people/boss. Working late
sometimes felt so foolish to me specially when you see your work
finding its place in the dustbin because the project got over. But it
was still good to go to work, stumble upon something new and
interesting., those unending discussions and
long meetings when you would like to just walk out. Bonding
with colleagues over common interests whether it was geek-y or
freaky, I loved it all. That feeling when you pay-check comes at the
end of the month and you start planning where to party next, made it
so worth all the 'love-hate' salary-increment discussions.
But
we both were just working and complaining everyday, what if this and
what if that? We had our pro-con list, but we both agreed “if we
don't take a risk now, we might never take a risk”. So one fine
day, we decided to quit our jobs and leave the city of dreams to a
new place with a new opportunity. I have never been without a job for
a long time and the idea to sit and breathe for a while to ponder
over what next looked very interesting. Leaving the city of dreams
wasn't that difficult for me as it was leaving Pune. Mumbai is fun in
its own way, we would surely miss the wonderful days with friends,
plays in NCPA and those long rides with the fear of a “mama
(traffic police)” catching us for something or the other. Mumbai,
definitely felt like our home, except the weather I had no complains.
But moving to a new city brings in its own challenges, and makes you
wonder was it really necessary???
Life
has surely come to a stand still. This life surely feels good for a
while...... I can't believe it's been just a couple months and I have
already crossed a couple of things off my bucket-list. I am singing
in the shower again, can't believe I don have to take quick 5 minute
showers anymore. I can go on as long as I want. Finally, I am getting
time to do things I always wanted but couldn't do as there was never
time. I am back to my fitness regime with a twist. I started with
learning Ancient Chinese martial arts known as Tai-chi, along with
other common forms of body combat and yoga. These days I spend 2-3
hours everyday at the fitness centre and my mind feels agile to do
something new,other than just staring at the computer screen and
wondering if the boss is in a good mood today.
Setting
up the home is definitely not my favourite activity, but this is my
third in the last 3 years of marriage. And believe me I'm tired,
tired of leaving good memories behind, leaving/giving away things to
people that you have carefully bought and has a sweet story from
where we got it. But my dear Vivek says a good memory lives with you
forever in your mind and thankfully does not take much space in your
closet. Obviously we agree to disagree sometimes, I really feel bad
of giving away things and then buying the same stuff again and again,
it is tiring physically, mentally and emotionally.
I
have more time to talk to my family and friends and not have those 2
minute calls with them saying I will call back and will definitely
get caught in a meeting or something and forget eventually. I have
started to learn something about my Kashmiri roots . To begin with I
have started understanding about Kashmir Shaivism and revisiting the
vast literature and knowledge bank by the holy saints of Kashmir like
Lal Ded. Thanks to Dad, I can get my doubts cleared right away. It's
wonderful how much there is to learn in the world, but we are forced
to just follow the crowd. Such a pity........
Another
aspect that I love these days is cooking maid free. I am surely
cooking my heart out, trying at least 2 new dishes every week. Our
favourite being Thai soups/curries, salmon and various chicken
varieties. And salads is Vivek's forte. It fun to cook a new dish,
out-doing yourself and improving with every new dish.
Its
a new transition but feel good for a while, then the feeling of being
“no-one” sinks in. As being a home maker is no designation that
you are familiar with. I mean no offence to all the home makers, but
It does not look interesting on a business card that once said
“Senior Research Scientist”. I'm
standing on the crossroads of my life and sometimes I wonder, what is
it that I should do next. It surely is very tough when you stay at
home after being a part of the rat race for so long. There
are times when I feel lost, direction-less and nothing less than a
furniture in the house. May be because sometimes the job of being at
home gets tough, and doing so many thankless jobs at home does not
help this feeling. Those degrees you have from reputed institutes
seem to mock you and you find no solace. This transition is not easy
but it needs to be dealt with love, care and support from your spouse
and family.
If
any of you/your friends are planning to take a break please enjoy
your time. Do things you always wanted, challenge yourself to do new
things, be a better person, smile more and my personal favorite “love and pamper yourself” (because you are awesome). Nothing
makes your family happy than to see you smiling....No matter
how crazy the work schedule was or how insensitive people you worked
with were, I still miss working. Those long unending discussions in
the meeting rooms, last minute presentations, lunch gossips,
tea/coffee breaks, discussions in the ladies restroom, and so many
fun things you do as a team. The way it would challenge me to do
something new, opportunity to meet people from different backgrounds
and those lovely cultural discussions. Its so rightly said,
everything comes at a price good or bad is your take. Even if I have
always hated the politics, gossips, and negative people at work, but
I also loved many other things that I have learned dealing with
people at work.
If
you stay at home or are in a transition period, don't just become a
cooking and cleaning lady. Be someone whom you are proud of. Life is
too short to have regrets, you might look like an idiot in the
beginning but who cares. Take a painting class, do some yoga, join a
dance class make new friends and may be go out on a date with
yourself. Sometimes it's fun to sit in a cafe sipping your coffee and
just observe people. My only take from my transition is love whatever
you do because grass is always greener on the other side. So worry
less and enjoy this life and live with people who matter......
