Konkan Calling Again!!! - Part III

Once again a beautiful sunrise to wake us up. We soaked in all the energy as it was a long day……. grabbed some delicious upma for breakfast and left for Vijaydurg. Vijaydurg has a very famous fort that is 800 years old. You might be thinking there would be only some remains left now, but you will be surprised to see the whole fort. It is a wonderful fort on the shoreline of Arabian Sea, and is surrounded by water on three sides. It stands still with all the glory that it has seen over all these years. Our guide gave us a lot of history lessons about this place; I can hardly recollect all but some facts were just awesome. What engineering, architecture, strategy and planning of the whole fort!!! I was stunned. The fort had everything from rain-water harvesting to food grain storage to ammunition storage. It also had an administration wing, entertainment wing, conference rooms, officer’s quarters, horse stables, hidden passages and temples. The fort has 27 bastions including some attacking bastions. Their attacking strategy and security planning just amazed us. Their planning tools and the fore-sightedness was just remarkable. I’m amazed and sad at the same time because many of us have not even heard about this place. I don’t know why the government or any concerned agency is not talking enough steps to promote and preserve such rich heritage that we should be proud of.

Sitting near the flag post you can clearly see the beautiful sea and at the same time keep a watch on most of the doors. The architecture of the place is just awesome. Everything is well done, arches, pillars, etc. It was very interesting to know the way arches are made as there is no support for the arch. So our guide told us that they made some kind of grooves in what is called a “key stone” as it holds all the stones in the arch. Its unbelievable how advanced and intelligent architects would have been those, with such a limited expertise and resources, it’s just incredible.

The whole trip to the fort was just phenomenal. Just near the fort as we came out, there was an old ship dockyard so we went to have a look. As soon as I saw it I was wondering how marine corrosion would have affected it over the years… (I guess that’s what research does to you, you think so much about the influence of the surroundings… all I could think about was the marine environment and its effect on the MOC (material of construction) of the ship… this environment had all deadly combinations for corrosion to eat away all the metal. :)

While coming back from the fort we visited one of the oldest temple known as “Rameshwar temple”, it’s relatively more than 800 years old. It was a downhill walk on very old stones for stairs. It was an experience in itself as we going in such an ancient temple. As you enter the premises of the temple there were lamp stags. Once you enter the temple could see the old wooden pillars on which the whole temple roof rested. These beautiful pillars had gorgeous designs, colors, and arches… The outer walls of the temple had paintings that portrayed some old mythological stories, the story of evil versus good…… mighty Gods fighting the demons….. Even if some paints were distorted or damaged, I was wondering as to what colors they had used that could last so long….. Why didn’t it get washed away over all these years?

Going back home from the temple was a long drive and we were literally starving….. So as soon as we reached home we were served with delicious lunch…….. :) Today’s lunch was special as Mr. Loke cooked it himself….and it was delicious fish varieties… yummy. Lunch had some fried fish “Tambosi” and a richer malvani fish curry of “Saundala”. It was just too delicious as I couldn’t stop eating. The fried fish had like a thousand thorns but it was obviously extremely tastier: P After having a delicious lunch we went to rest for a while and then proceeded to the “mithbav” beach again to see sunset ;) but this time we decided no cameras, no shell collecting and just relaxing and walking on the beach…….

It was slight breeze along with the melodious sound of waves in the sea that had a calming effect. It had a rejuvenating effect on all the souls in the world. It’s strange as these soothing waves also have a massive power of destroying everything…….. Nature has amazing wonderings and secrets of its own….. I’m so speechless to describe the beauty of the beach in the late evening when, all I am doing is lying down on the beach or taking a long quite walk on the beach. And the only thing that gets you back to reality is those scary crabs or those tingling tadpoles or something like that :P It was a funny feeling….you can’t actually see the tadpoles because they are transparent… it feels just like some jelly that moves on your skin, all you feel is a transparent thing moving but you can’t see them clearly……. It was a bit cloudy but the sunset was beautiful, and the sea was getting quieter as if saying goodbye to the sun. We sat there for some time and then went back to our home stay.

We packed up our things and got ready for dinner and then to leave for “Kankavali” to catch our bus back home. Dinner was served and the parting dinner was equally awesome…… :) I had a mouthwatering fish starter “Saranga” and a spicier malvani fish curry “Surmai”. Believe me when it comes to eating fish I can keep on eating and eating :P

Opps… I forgot to mention, we even got a chance to meet the interior designer who worked for “Culture Aangan”- Goerge. George is more of a free-lance guy who works on multiple projects….. He is so full of passion for his work. I love people who love what they do… believe me there is nothing like that… and our conversation began. We were just so much into the conversation that we wished we had more time. George’s specialty is in the use of natural materials especially bamboo…..(for those who have seen those bamboo boat houses in “Tarkarli” – he is the guy ;)) isn’t that amazing…… It’s actually an awesome blend of ethnicity, nature, and originality ……………….

So finally the time had come to say goodbyes and leave for “Kankavli”. The drive to Kankavli was a speech less drive as we were recollecting so many things in our heads on the way back….. and we finally spoke “it was a fun trip :)”. The trip was almost over, just a last bit of travelling from Kankavli ….. . We waited at the ticket place till midnight and we were amazed to see two fairly strong females handling all the bus rush to Mumbai and Pune. You should have seen their efficiency and dedication; it was incredible how they handled business till midnight. We were the last ones to board our bus, so they waited up with us till we boarded the bus. All I remember is getting up at Swargate….you could see the mess in Pune :P I could feel the rush of blood in my veins, that made me realize that the holiday just got over and I have to go to office today……………………………

I guess, It’s not about how good or bad the place is, I guess it’s more about how good can you make out of it… :) Cheers….. looking forward to more trips like this :)

Konkan Calling Again!!! - Part II

A beautiful morning sunrise accompanied by the birds singing in the background, was a perfect morning to begin with. You actually feel like going out and welcoming the sun in. As soon as you step out, those influential rays seem like filling you up with a new enthusiasm. Enjoying a carefree morning and soaking up energy from the sun….we decided to begin our day. So we embarked the day with a simple and yummy breakfast, some dosa (I can’t recall the exact name) with freshly grated coconut chutney… it was so delicious.

The plan for the day was quite interesting. We were to accompany our hosts to their native village “Mithbav” to celebrate “Ganpati” and then go to a nearby beach. Our hosts (Loke’s) have a 100-year old ancestral home in “Mithbav”, where they celebrate “Ganpati” with their family every year. I was amazed to see their enthusiasm and passion for the celebration and the love for their culture. How many of us could possibly do that? Our hectic life styles and the craziness to do so much in a day don’t leave us with anything in hand. This city life has taken so much fun from us……..

The ancestral home was small with a room and a kitchen… but it was miraculously standing for all these years…and there were no signs of cracks or putty applied or any modification….even the wood was in comparatively better condition. I guess it had much much much better construction than what we have here these days.

Ganpati celebration began with setting up of the “aasan” (sitting place for Ganpati idol). The place was cleaned and decorated well for the lord by the whole family. The males and the kids of the house go to a place where idols are painted for this occasion, to choose and pick the idol they like to take home. The whole village had gathered outside this place to pick their respected idols and carry it home. So finally after looking at more than a dozen of idols the family decided on one. Before taking the ganpati, the face of the lord is covered. The head of the family picks up the Ganpati on his head and carries it all the way to his home barefooted. The sight of so many people carrying Ganpati all the way through the rich green fields was beautiful. This act of devotion was just phenomenal. Once they reach home, the females of the house welcome the lord as they do some aarati and wash the feet of the ones carrying the lord. Then, the lord is seated in his “aasan”.

All the people in the village received us with pleasure as they were very happy to show us around, we even went to some of Loke’s neighbors to have a look at their Ganpati celebrations. It was just very over-whelming as how these people treated us with humility, just because we are guests. I’m truly amazed by Indians when it comes to hospitality; I bet no other country can offer such humbleness.

So finally the “Bhat” (someone who carries out the puja) arrived, and we joined in the prayers with the family. Once the prayer was over, we all gathered for lunch. Lunch was served on a banana leaf, it had very simple and delicious vegetarian food that included bhindi, karela, cabbage, usal etc. …all prepared in traditional style. And how can I forget the sweet dishes, we had some delicious “karanjees“ and “modaks”, as they are considered the lord’s most favorite items.

It was a fun celebration, because even if we live in the same country….we still had so many things to learn from others. So catching up with them, knowing their beliefs, rituals was just wonderful.

We visited some old temples nearby the village. We were amazed to see ‘Bank of Maharashtra’ and ‘Post and telegraph office’ in this remote location. We also spotted a bright yellow house in the middle of the village. Most of the houses used vivid colors that blended very well with the simplicity of this place. “Mithbav” has a very popular beach nearby, so after we were done with the celebrations, we decided to go to the beach. An old temple near the beach and the look of the beach was just beautiful. A quite lonely beach and the sun was playing hide and seek with us. It had a perfect cycle….sunny, then cloudy and then rainy and then again sunny; this continued for all the time we were there. The lonely beach was just perfect setting to take a walk, we felt as our worries were getting washed away by the waves. It was enjoyable as we got a bit drenched, collected shells and felt in sync with ourselves…….. a feeling that is just un-explainable or un-describable……….

It was almost sunset so we headed back to our homestay, all tired but all worth it. We were all set for dinner (by the time you reach here you might be thinking that I’m obsessed with food….well I’m ;)) Dinner was refreshingly vegetarian…… we had mutter-paneer, yellow daal, some kothimbeer vadi with a rice bakri…… it was just delectable. During and after dinner we made sure we interacted with our hosts to make sure we don’t miss any insight.

The day had so much and we were looking for more tomorrow….. and we had planned for a hectic trip tomorrow……

To be continued.......

Konkan Calling Again!!!!! - Part I

“Konkan” has a unique allure in it that keeps you going back to it. When we were planning the trip we decided no Konkan this time as last year we visited Sawantwadi in Konkan…. But by the time we had to make a decision, we could not think of any other place that could be managed at a short notice over the long weekend. Finally, after a lot of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ discussion we got all the booking done like a day or two before the trip. Believe me sometimes the spur-of-the-moment decisions can make your trip wonderful. So we decided on another popular home stay by Culture Aangan called “Pitruchaya” – as soothing as the name sounds it had an aura and beauty of its own.

We boarded the bus on Thursday night and left for a place called “Kankavali”. We reached around 6.30 in the morning and were picked up by Sandeep (our Culture Aangan associate). We gathered our luggage and went into somewhat “technically modified and beautifully designed auto” I guess it looked more like a “baggi”; if you know what that means. It was a fun ride of around 40-50 mins. to a place called “Dhoptewadi” in Shirgaon, to our home stay. There was a sweet chillness in the air, rather strange but welcoming surroundings. Greenery everywhere, as if it had been painted all night to give it a fresh look for us. It was a long, lonely and a narrow road with wild yellow and pink flowers resting on both sides of the road. The look of it was amazing enough to make all the travelling worth it. Finally, we reached our home stay….. that stood in the middle of nowhere…… It was a beautiful. We were received by our hosts (Loke family) with great hospitality. I’m amazed to see maharastrian hospitality; they always make you feel at home……as if you are a part of their family and not an outsider. It was remarkable to see Mr. Loke’s mother (she must be around 100 or so) active, just reminded me of my grandmother. How blessed are people who have the blessing of the parents and grandparents! This place truly deserved the name – “Pitruchaya”…….

We decided to stay in the sunrise terrace cottage….which was just phenomenal and the view from the terrace was splendid. Staying in a place that doesn’t even have like one single house next to it is a pleasure in itself. There are no concrete walls instead they use some porous old stones that gave the home an ethnicity. The pillars in the house were painted with some traditional figures that went very well with the home decor. The beautifully done living with all bamboo furniture was just like the jewel in the crown. The centre table looked like a stack of bamboos kept on each other, the dining table had an interesting stack of 15 or more bamboo sticks held like a twisted bundle to hold the glass on top…believe me it was so remarkable done (that I was literally looking at the overall force balance of the whole structure). Once we were inside, we sat down with our hosts and outlined the plan for the days to come……….

So here I go with my narration ‘day-wise’ so that I don’t miss anything.
It is a long blog...enjoy reading :)

Day One: Let me start with breakfast. We had “konkani style poha” with freshly grated coconut and a some tea, for a fresh feeling so that we could sleep for a while :P Feeling extremely rejuvenated after a power nap we were all set for lunch…..I was so looking forward to it. All I wanted was to eat fish, fish and more fish. The lunch was served with such humility that it just made my day :). Fish “tambdha “as a starter, fish “surmai” cooked in malvani style and fish “bangdha” (stuffed and then fried) …yummy as it sounds….. Just writing about it makes me hungry again. It was surely lip-smacking and all I wanted was to keep on eating and not get up.

After lunch, as planned we went to a waterfall nearby like 6-7km from the home stay. The ride was so much fun…..The vehicle dropped us outside and we proceeded towards the waterfall with our host (Mr. Loke). It was about 10-15 mins. of crossing a relatively dense forest….with a very narrow path to walk on. We were kind of making our way through it…and finally there was the gigantic waterfall. The sight of the water fall was mesmerizing. It was a huge waterfall with that naturally wild look and the best part was that there were no people around thankfully to ruin its wildness. The water was gushing down with such a force that I can’t describe. The power is its stream was so commanding that you could just feel your pulse racing as soon as you see it. The sight was just phenomenal; an angry waterfall, with big giant rocks as the sentinels surrounding it….and finally a lush green layer of grass, plants and trees around it to give it an overall soothing look. This unique combination just made it astounding. We clicked pictures like crazy and captured high spirits in our hearts :)

After coming back from the waterfall, we had some tea to refresh ourselves…. Talked to our hosts at length and went to see the place around. They had a well in front of their house, a well so well made that I was so much engrossed to the idea of drawing water from it….and surely it was fun… We took one hour long walk on that lonely road in the evening with masti all the way: P We picked some flowers on the way, clicked some pictures, and a lot of crazy things…. I’m surely not doing justice to the kind of fun we had…… just have no words to describe it all.

Got back home and waited eagerly for dinner :P. Dinner was served……. a chicken starter – fried with an awesome malvani masala and malvani chicken curry…… it didn’t taste like chicken ;P………….

A long gratifying day was over and we retired to bed with a hope that there will be more to explore and have fun tomorrow :)

To be continued………………………………………………………….

Each One Teach One!!!!!!

“Teaching” is a dignified profession. My family has been into teaching from I don’t know how many generations. My grandfather was a head master in one of the reputed schools in Srinagar. So everyone in my family knows the nobleness of this profession. I don’t know if it still stands noble in the modern world. But for me it’s still noble, pure and selfless deed. I still remember most of my teachers in school n college; I feel so lucky to have had good mentors throughout my life.

As a kid, I used to teach my younger brother. He is the naughtiest kid I have ever seen till date. It was a trick to keep him glued to the books, as he had millions of excuses for not studying. I remember so many of his excuses for not sitting down with books…… “Hey, I’m thirsty, I have to use the washroom, I lost my pencil, I can’t find my book, I’m hungry, and….” my God he could go on and on with his excuses. He could do anything and everything to escape his ordeal with books. I loved studying so I hated his attitude towards studies. And with dad in Srinagar I had more than 10 reasons to help him or make him study, so I had to torment him. But at the same time, he loved studying when I was the one teaching. I used to read out to him. Make up stories so that he could remember. Cook up some experiments to show him how things work. Though we were poles apart, we always had interactive study sessions. I guess I’m good with kids only because I was dealing with a very naughty kid from childhood.

When I started working, I had seen a bunch of young kids working in small hotels/dabhas, shops, as workers everywhere. And I used to wonder what happened to the law, as far as I remember we had some law for no child labor. It actually rips my heart when I see small kids working. Making tea with their small hands, such small and tiny hands….. It’s such a pitiful sight. These hands should have had an opportunity to learn and grow. But alas! They have a hard way of learning. It certainly is a difficult way of learning, a battle for their survival, a race to feed the countless mouths at home………. It is sad, in fact very sad to see the world around, with all these disparities.

But the question is what can we do???? So many things to do I guess…monetary help, donations, fund NGO’s……but whenever I think about it, all I feel is whether it actually goes into the benefit to the needy people or does it just go into someone else’s pocket…. I don’t know the answer, but I don’t think there is a better answer to it. Consider our situation - we pay taxes ever year. Do our savings, file taxes, tax returns and what not, but do we get perfect roads… I think you already know the answer…..which is NO!!!

A year back, I started teaching some under-privileged kids during the weekends. It is surely a privilege to teach the under-privileged……. as it gives me an utmost satisfaction. It’s a feeling that I can’t describe, it’s just amazing. I don’t think there can be a bigger gift that you can give yourself.

I see a magnificent spark in their twinkling eyes. Strange eyes they have….. full of hope but at the same time you can also see some hopelessness. May be these little kids wonder, as to why they don’t have a life worth living. I teach 3 kids, one kid in K.G., one girl in class 5 and the eldest one in class 6. The variation is just awesome. You may not believe if I tell you that these kids are smarter for their age. And on top of that they are very good in grasping, understanding and very hardworking. It’s very exciting to teach such kids, who have a desire to learn. I love teaching them, its fun in some ways. I teach maths in hindi as some are in a marathi medium. I am actually learning a lot of hindi myself ;). Believe me it’s fun, luckily I can connect to these kids as I understand and can speak some marathi. But when I see the hardships they are going through it’s just too over-whelming.

I am not a philosopher, nor do I plan to revolutionize the world. I am just doing my bit…….….. so should you. Guys don’t wait for an opportunity to knock on your door…. Just go and find one. :)

Happy 1st Birthday – “Wild Berries” :)

“Wild berries” turns ONE. “Wild berries” is not just a blog for me; it has been a personal space for me where I could put in my thoughts out to the world. It is my immense pleasure to let you know that I have successfully completed one year here... I was a regular blogger and tried to keep you and I entertained. Blogging has been a great stress buster and a companion for almost a year now, a friend with whom I can share anything.

Writing was my passion since childhood... but I never got chance to share it with others. As a child, I loved writing diaries and put down my thoughts, views, perceptions, dreams, fears and what not. But all these thoughts remained in the yellow pages of my diaries. There was no difference of opinion; no clash of the titans, no one could challenge my thought process. But my dream of writing and getting my thoughts out to people came true with blogger – thank you blogger :)

There are many people behind the success of my blog. It took me a lot of motivation to actually join blogger. A close friend suggested one day... "Hey, why don’t you blog? It’s a nice platform to share your ideas." I was reluctant at first….but when I started blogging, there was no looking back. I felt great as blogging gave my freedom of speech back ….. I’m thankful to you sweetheart for motivating me enough to write.

“Wild Berries” won’t have been possible without the support of my friends, whom I bugged day and night to review and send me the feedback. I have bugged ‘amit’ way too much.... poor fellow did his PhD on my blogs :P other than his research work... :D

I guess, it’s a brilliant way to exploit my over active brain... :P Putting my thoughts in here, fears, confessions or anything or everything makes it more and more interesting as I write or even consider writing about them.

I feel by now, many people who read my blog actually know me so well. I write what I feel. I know my ideas are not customary.. I am rebellious since childhood. I have always had a voice of my own... against society... against prejudices or anything that doesn’t have logic (or as some call it ‘logicless’ :D).

I am an organization freak!!! As crazy as it sounds, it’s equally crazy to be one. If you happen to see the popular TV series ‘Friends’, I happen to be “Monica Gellar”. I love everything in place, be it books, documents, items and all. I love keeping things logically in order, even the right and left of things is important to me. I love to do things my way, but at the same time I’m not rigid.

I’m a “free- bird” who hates enclosures. I hate being restricted or being stuffed in a cage. I want to see the world with my eyes and explore it with my wings. At times I love to keep my personal space, I love being lazy sometimes...laid back for a moment .......just sit there and do nothing for a while......

And yes, this blog is my reality. Every person has so much in them but they never get a right platform to share their views. I’m contented about the fact that at least my blogs will help me capture my dreams, fears, aspirations...I mean every facet of my life. It will be a legacy that I can share with my family when I’m too old to remember anything. :D :D :D

Trek to Sinhagad :)))

Finally, after so much planning and driving people out of the gym was successful. We ventured to Sinhagad. I have been there a couple number of times but every time I go, it’s different. And a new group just adds adventure. Especially, when you go with only people you don’t know very well; I mean ‘hi-hello’ people around you. Obviously, who has the time to make friends in the gym… Everyone is busy finishing there workouts….as everyone has to rush to office. We hardly talk at length. All we talk about is ‘how many calories do you burn?’ or ‘what diet do you follow?’ or ‘are you losing any weight?’ or ‘what to eat?’ or ‘What not to eat?’ :P Believe me it’s a crazy discussion at times, and I pity the trainer for answering the same set of questions again and again.

Whenever you do an activity together in a group, a new bond is formed. It’s so much fun as you share common experiences. In a small group of 7 people, we two were experienced and all others were first timers. It was so fun making them trek hard, I’m sure they had a tough time for 3-4 days at least.

It wasn’t very early, around 8am in the morning. But the look around was just phenomenal. Just last night it had rained cats and dogs here so I was wondering how we will go. But in the morning, cloudy weather was the driving force for going. So we all gathered in front of our gym calling all who signed up for the trek. I guess out of a good number of more than 20 people we could manage only 6 on board. Thankfully we didn’t give up or cancel and we continued with our plan.

As we started our trip, the whole city was sporting a ‘wet look’, which was just beautiful. The way plants get more and more greener when it rains. You can see all types of green… the dark leafy one, the color of the new leaves, the grass, the sight is awesome. The colors and the freshness around you makes you marvel at mother nature’s capability to revive itself. The whole scene looks like it underwent a metamorphosis just in one night. And all you want to do it praise the creator and be amazed with his work.

As we managed the first timers, the trek got very interesting. I was busy clicking some random shots, helping my group and having fun. It was so good to get in touch with my “pahadi” roots. I love trekking/hiking and I guess I get this streak from my father. My father is an avid mountaineer and a true “pahadi” for that matter. I’m amazed with his enthusiasm to explore places and climb mountains. I would be very interested to join a group of trekkers or something like that, who go hiking every now and then. It will be very interesting to go with people from different walks of life, coming together for a common passion.

Tragedy of Being a Kashmiri Pandit!!!!!!!!

This blog is not just any other blog. It’s a subject that’s very close to my heart. It’s about the journey of a child who saw 2-3 generations trapped in ill-fated militancy, and witnessed all the misery it got along. Even if I was a kid, I felt the blow so hard that it’s still fresh in my memory. I can still hear those dreadful words from the mosque, I am still aware of the trauma we were in. I still remember those fearful nights….those dreaded moments that anyone will just walk in our house and kill us. I used to be hell scared if my mother went out to buy something and hoped that she will come back alright. I can’t tell you how it feels to be a victim for something you didn’t even do….

No matter how much we Kashmiri’s are proud of our heritage, we were hurt and betrayed by our own people. Our own land is no more the same, we were thrown out saying that we don’t belong here. I don’t know if any of my non-kashmiri friends will ever understand what it is to be a ‘cursed Hindu’. What is it to be a child whose childhood didn’t see innocence but responsibilities? What it is to see your family torn? The bitter feeling of losing everything! From a luxurious life to life in a box; yes we stayed in a box, what else will you call when a whole family stays, cooks and sleeps in one room? Migration from a big house to a box was just phenomenal, but I guess we were so traumatized that it didn’t matter what we had and what we didn’t as long as we were alive.

I belong to that generation of unlucky kids who witnessed the upsurge of militancy. It is sad, very sad to be one of them. I feel sorry not only for myself but my grandmother, who had to leave her proud legacy and was forced to stay in the box. I am sorry for my parents who had to stay away from each other for as long as 15 years…. just because they had a family to support. I feel sorry for a wife, a mother and a daughter who had to do everything all by herself for her family. I have not known anyone as strong as my mother. I was strongly influenced by her; she planted roots of a strong personality with an optimistic mental outlook in me. My mother stood like a pillar of strength for our family and never let us feel as to how disturbed and traumatized she felt. My mom being an intelligent lady was never conservative and always had progressive ideas. She used to encourage us to learn to stand on our own feet and pursue our professions with oozing self-confidence. Her main ambition was the prosperity of her children.

I feel sorry for my father, who was kind of trapped in his job. As a son, husband and a father, he had his responsibilities. My dad, a disciplined, dedicated and an honest man, who approaches issues with an alert mind and goes about his job in a methodical manner but he was not given a fair chance to get transferred to Jammu so that he could be with his family. All useless government and so called human rights agencies just pretended to help the Pandits….but I know what they did. Ask any Kashmiri Pandit and they will tell you what all have they suffered.

I feel sorry for the son and the daughter, who could never have a full fledged family. No mentor around during their career building years. Even if my dad is a living encyclopedia, with all the information in the world…. be it religion, science, occult sciences, agriculture, anything and everything…. A very well-learned man but at the same time, he is an expert in finding fault with others and castrating them for their shortcomings. I wish, I and my little brother had a good guidance and support of our father when we were growing up. May be I would have been much more than what I am now. It’s not that I am not happy with what I am but I wish I had a chance to do it even better. It’s not that I am not proud of what all I have accomplished in all these years, but I don’t think it’s my success… This success and its credit belong to my parents without whom I would never have been able to come so far. I owe so much to them and all the pain and sacrifices they made for both of us. I am so blessed to be their daughter, even if I had ups and downs in my life…. They never gave up on me. Their faith in me and their whole-hearted blessings have taken me all the way up.

The worst thing is to be a refugee in your own country. When not only other cities, states and communities treat you like a bunch of losers but they also make fun by saying “hey, I can’t believe you fled from your homeland, how can you? How can anyone? You are too weak to let go of your house and age old legacy”. Can someone go and tell them, it’s easy to say but god forbid. I hope no one ever on this planet has to go through anything like this. I can’t tell you how hurt my whole community is….. Where should we go and seek answers when even our own gods have turned their backs on us. Life was difficult and impossible. People just talk and talk; they never did anything for the benefit of a ‘migrated Hindu’ – even if we are in majority here. There were very few people who came up to help.

I don’t know if anyone reading this blog will ever be able to relate to the trauma faced by us. I don’t think anyone can believe or imagine how difficult it was for all the Kashmiri Pandits. We started from scratch… actually from a twig. Even if we had everything a night before, the next day we were beggars, just beggars who had nothing but just a hope that we will come back soon. Newspapers covered with blood everywhere – ‘5 people killed’- ’10 people killed’ – ’20 people killed’. Who kept the count? We all were busy thanking for each day we were alive (oh sorry) survived. With my father in Srinagar and we surviving in Jammu, I have not seen a single day, when my mother and grandmother were not worried about my father’s safety and safe arrival. Prayers were all we had.

I don’t blame anyone. I don’t know why it happened? I don’t know what went wrong, that our own people turned against us. I don’t have an answer, but I have so many questions that I want to ask. These questions never leave me; they are always there in my head. And I keep wondering, what was it that I did wrong? What was my fault?
I salute the whole brigade of Kashmiri Pandits for their fighting spirit. They have fought against all odds. I don’t think there can be any other community that could have survived this tragedy. Even a mighty country like the US couldn’t survive 9/11….. and a handful of Kashmiri Pandits survived and rose above all odds. It wasn’t a miracle nor did happen in one night…………they worked hard and never gave up. I guess our rich culture; our values, ethics, morals and above all our education came to our rescue. I salute all the parents who stood up to make their children’s life peaceful.

I salute, I salute, I salute………